Opening An Art Exhibition Gifts

Private View

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

It's a call from Tate modern.

Misunderstood artist

Painting taking root...

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Picasso: The Early Years

"Now this I get."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Art Gallery.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Private Viewing

"I read 'Art News.'"

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

'You're no Pollock.'

Instant art

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Michelangelo's David is cleaned every two months.

The Battle of the Pictures.

Rodins rotten juggler

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'