Opening An Art Exhibition Gifts

Private View

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

It's a call from Tate modern.

Misunderstood artist

Painting taking root...

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Picasso: The Early Years

"Now this I get."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Art Gallery.

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Private Viewing

"I read 'Art News.'"

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

'You're no Pollock.'

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Instant art

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

The Battle of the Pictures.

Rodins rotten juggler

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'