Art Exhibition Opening Gifts

Dogs looking at a fire hydrant in an art gallery.

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I read 'Art News.'"

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

A Science and Art Conversation.

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Artist in formaldehyde

"The expiration date says it will only be avant-garde for nine more years."

"I've just got this sudden craving for pizza."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

Painting taking root...

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

It's a call from Tate modern.

Candle Portraits.

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Picasso: The Early Years

Creation of Red Wine

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

'I think it's the best thing you've ever done!'

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Private Viewing

'It's like a piece of music, like Mozart or Beethoven.'

'You're no Pollock.'

Instant art

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'