Online Worshippers Gifts

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

TV and man

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"OMG! 12 followers already...this thing could go viral."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"I suppose a lot of people do their worshipping online these days."

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"Due to social distancing - all gods will be fake from home."

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

Church Pastor Paul Lucas - NOW IN 3D

Wi-Fi