Online Congregant Gifts

"I suppose a lot of people do their worshipping online these days."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Drive-thru Church

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

Gracebook.

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"OMG! 12 followers already...this thing could go viral."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Coventry Carol

Church: Built by Guilt.

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

"Things have been pretty quiet around here since folks started worshipping online."

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

'On the other hand, how do we know God isn't a member of our chat group?'

Dear diary, I have to make this quick. I think my blog is onto us.

While watching Mass at home during the pandemic, dad gets the bright idea of taking up a collection.

Second united church of the internet: Make Jesus your screen savior

Christmas cracker goes 'ping' instead of 'bang'.

He's gone too far this time. Rudy? He said he's decided to become a person of faith. He said it's the hip thing to be. But he's not totally clear on the concept. I'm not available on Sundays. Oh, come on now.

"I AM committed to church. I go sometimes, once in a while, and every now and then."