Online Queue Philosopher Gifts

'Thanks for suggesting that Web-based bank. Now instead of waiting on line, I get to wait online.'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

The First Commuters

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

TSA Lines

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

I have a homepage, therefore I am.

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

'I'm sorry, but don't you think fetch is a little overrated?'

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

Bird to bird: 'If I'm not careful, I could twitter my life away.'

"I've been waiting here so long I think I'm cured."