Online Queue Philosopher Prints

'Thanks for suggesting that Web-based bank. Now instead of waiting on line, I get to wait online.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

The First Commuters

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

TSA Lines

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

I have a homepage, therefore I am.

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

Bird to bird: 'If I'm not careful, I could twitter my life away.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

'I'm sorry, but don't you think fetch is a little overrated?'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"I've been waiting here so long I think I'm cured."