Restaurant Queue Philosopher Gifts

'There's a 35 minute wait. However, if you're willing to sit in hell, I can get you a table immediately.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Dr. Bone's first opening for a new patient is 2 months from now. Will that work for you?'

'Not only am I a frequent flyer, I'm a frequent waiter.'

'We'll have a bed for you in a couple of days.'

"Sorry for the wait - I hope it wasn't too long."

TSA Lines

'Why do I always pick the slow moving queue?'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"The lines are a bit slow today...so here's something to help pass the time!"

"What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?"

"I've been waiting here so long I think I'm cured."

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"Wake up, RIP. The doctor will see you now."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

"Don't just sit there give me a hand."

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"Mexican food?! This is America! I want pizza!"

"I'm going to try and get an outpatients appointment, I may be some time!"

"Who's next?"

Clown on unicycle on highwire traffic queue likely.

Elderly couple bearing a sign: '...We take ages.'

Deconstructing Lunch