Online Nostalgist Gifts

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"I'll never forget you."

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

'Well yes, it is a Jurassic model...OK, I'll knock off two bucks.'

"Sure, e-mail is faster . . . but I miss biting the mailman!"

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

"Can I call you back? I'm creating happy memories of my childhood for my father."

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"You should be outside with your friends, not stuck indoors all day playing on that damn computer."

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

Just when he thought things couldn't get worse...

'Did you know, when dad was a kid, he nursed a baby bird back to health with an eyedropper?' 'So, he's not the gruff parent he pretends to be?'

"You don't need your selfie stick...the booth takes selfies for you!"

"Do you like my four wheel drive?"

The first email message was conceived, funded and launched in the Gobi Desert by Kikutake Suji.

"Since he retired he misses his meetings."

'Y'know, I came here long before there was all that modern technology!'

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

'I haven't gained much weight...I'll bet I can still fit into the pants I wore in high school...'

'My battery's out - I'll phone you from the museum.'

"I remember a time before the internet... when we had to pay for our disinformation."

"Most of you won't know what this is. It's a blackboard."

Future world records

"On a pencil, this is called an eraser, not the delete button."

"I miss the old days, when everything was attached with wires."