Online Nostalgist Pillows

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"I'll never forget you."

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'Well yes, it is a Jurassic model...OK, I'll knock off two bucks.'

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Sure, e-mail is faster . . . but I miss biting the mailman!"

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

"Can I call you back? I'm creating happy memories of my childhood for my father."

Just when he thought things couldn't get worse...

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

"You should be outside with your friends, not stuck indoors all day playing on that damn computer."

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"You don't need your selfie stick...the booth takes selfies for you!"

The first email message was conceived, funded and launched in the Gobi Desert by Kikutake Suji.

"Since he retired he misses his meetings."

'Did you know, when dad was a kid, he nursed a baby bird back to health with an eyedropper?' 'So, he's not the gruff parent he pretends to be?'

"Do you like my four wheel drive?"

'Y'know, I came here long before there was all that modern technology!'

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'

"I miss the old days, when everything was attached with wires."

Man talking to his psychologist. 'I'm worried that my Facebook friends will find out about my MySpace friends.'

"On a pencil, this is called an eraser, not the delete button."

"Most of you won't know what this is. It's a blackboard."

'My battery's out - I'll phone you from the museum.'

'I haven't gained much weight...I'll bet I can still fit into the pants I wore in high school...'

"I remember a time before the internet... when we had to pay for our disinformation."

Future world records