Online Influencers Pillows

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

'I need a new motto, with 140 characters.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Changing Minds

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

Mark Zuckerberg

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"This is off our first TikTok."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Witches of Instagram

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."