Online Influencer Wannabe Pillows

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Sorry M'Lud, just getting ready to update my status."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Witches of Instagram

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Influence this."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"This is off our first TikTok."