Online Influencer Wannabe Gifts

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Gravestone 'Follow me on Twitter.'

"Sorry M'Lud, just getting ready to update my status."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Mark Zuckerberg

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Witches of Instagram

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Creativity 2.0

"This is off our first TikTok."

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"Influence this."