Influencer Hopeful Gifts

"I don't want to be an "Industrious Beaver" dad: I want to be an internet celebrity..."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

Changing Minds

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"This is off our first TikTok."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Witches of Instagram

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Creativity 2.0

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

"I only told a few friends."

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."