Future Influencer Gifts

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'When I grow older, I want to be rich enough to hire people to take selfies for me.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'I wonder if they've got wifi here?'

"He started talking yesterday. It didn't take him long to start a podcast."

"At the moment I just follow, but someday I hope to be followed."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"