Junior Influencer Gifts

"Just wait until you read my tweets."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Witches of Instagram

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Influence this."