Junior Influencer Gifts

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

"Just wait until you read my tweets."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"Influence this."

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Witches of Instagram

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Creativity 2.0

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.