Future Influencer Pillows

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'When I grow older, I want to be rich enough to hire people to take selfies for me.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'I wonder if they've got wifi here?'

"He started talking yesterday. It didn't take him long to start a podcast."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Witches of Instagram

"This is off our first TikTok."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Influence this."