Next-gen Influencer Pillows

"Your essential needs change as you get older. Soon you'll be out of that diaper and into a smartphone."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

Changing Minds

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Mark Zuckerberg

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"Influence this."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

Witches of Instagram

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Creativity 2.0

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

'Your tweets have quite a following.'