Next-gen Influencer Pillows

"Your essential needs change as you get older. Soon you'll be out of that diaper and into a smartphone."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

Changing Minds

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

"This is off our first TikTok."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Witches of Instagram

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.