Digital Influencer Enthusiast Pillows

"If you have a lot of complaints you have to prioritise... Always start with the ones who have the largest number of Twitter followers."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

21st century water cooler conversations.

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Digital Fomo!

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet

Mark Zuckerberg

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"She looks just like in your photos."

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'