Online Fame Gifts

"There's got to be a better way to break into show business than appearing on Hot Ones."

'If we can learn to play the piano, we can make a fortune on the Internet!'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"She's all over YouTube."

'And, for the student with the most hits on his or her Facebook page, the award goes to Lisa Skemley!'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

'I'm a star!'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'No-one buys these stylish frames for their eyes, usually it's for their Facebook photo's.'

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"My first video sucked. But I figure I've got 8 more chances."

"I just tweeted a chirp."

'Does a blog count as being published.'

The power of the blog.

As Seen On TV

'Something that'll get me googled,'

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

'He's not a Super Influencer, he's a very naughty boy!'

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

'Tweet, tweet...Acme Bird Seed is the best, tweet.'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

Media Whore Raceway.

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

'Any backup plan in case your dream of becoming a YouTube sensation doesn't pan out?'

Chewbacca mom and her entire family get full college scholarships.

"A movie deal, a recording contract, clothing line, rehab, first marriage, fragrance, baby, second marriage, reality show …"

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.