Online Celebrity Gifts

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"She's all over YouTube."

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

"I just tweeted a chirp."

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

Working from home to-do list.

'Does a blog count as being published.'

Catroom.

Computer Head

'He's not a Super Influencer, he's a very naughty boy!'

'Tweet, tweet...Acme Bird Seed is the best, tweet.'

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

Social Influencers Anonymous.

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

A frat party at an online university

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I just turn off my ad blocker.

"I think Fifi has starred in enough videos for a while."

Likes Makes Right

Content Street Vendor

"There's no such thing as a stupid question -- There are, however, stupid Google searches."

"I have 1,8000 friends on facebook....and you want a college degree?"

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

Donald Trump's going to be the Republican nominee. Mark my words. No way. In the four seconds it took you to say that sentence, I posted a tweet about him and counted the number of retweets. I've got 15,000 followers. Not a single one retweeted it. And look, seven people just stopped following me. I'm not convinced your methodology is scientifically sound. Another one just insulted my mother.

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

In the social media courtroom...