Internet Celebrity Aficionado Gifts

"Guess who's gone viral."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Showbiz Awards

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Weird things I do because of the internet

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Little Red Riding Carpet

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Twister:Rural Social Networking

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Music Hall Dancers

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

Leo McKern

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

'Call you back - I'm with my agent.'

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Meryl Streep

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Viggo Mortensen

Animal Actors

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Bette Midler