Online Dating Sage Gifts

"It's like the minute they see 'Charlie Manson' on your dating profile all you get are the crazy ones."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I hope he has skeletons in his closet."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

Today's love

cuPad

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Your website or mine?'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"Everybody meets online these days."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Everytime you touch me, I get frostbite!"

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."