Online Article Reader Gifts

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Reading the sports pages.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

Highlights for Adults

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

'I won't be reading the paper online today, so you can take my computer back to my office.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

"Pavlov's Blog."

"I hope I live long enough to see Bush's view of his legacy come true! I'll be around a long, long, long time!"

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

Woman reading: 'How to look hot on the beach this summer.'

'That's nothing new. Thatcher had a similar plan, but she called hers; 'Every man for himself'.'