Old Wives' Tale Debunker Gifts

Billy strip: 'whiskey is not a cure for the common cold.'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

Well, there you go. I guess it isn't "Feed a cold, starve a fever."

"...for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death or litigation do you part?"

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"What's wrong?"

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'Well, apparently your mother was right. Your face is finally stuck that way.'

"I figured, better the devil you know."

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

"With the courage from that one drink I'll tell you I've been faking my squeal for years."

'I really hope that Fred makes the most of it until she joins him for the rest of eternity!'

'Dave, why did we marry?' 'You wanted part of the paper.'

"I couldn't decide what to get you so I got myself a new hat."

'Actually, your wife's quite hot... Mind if I ask her for a date?... Post decree absolute, of course.'

"And it comes in five different flavours."

"I kind of miss that morning newspaper you used to hold in front of your face."

"We're in the tub together. But not like it used to be."

Dentures and foot kissing

"It was peaceful - I listed his faults the one last time and he drifted away."