Old West History Gifts

'Dagnabit, stranger! Is you sayin' I don't know the difference between a cabernet sauvignon, and a merlot?!!'

Billy. The Kid.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'You may be a jolly happy soul Frosty, but you stink at poker!'

The modern sheriff.

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"Trepanning for gold"

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

What Are These?

"Lost his first hat about nine months ago. Really tore him up too."

The corona ranger

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

Custer's Last Rollo

Reality Wagon Train

Jesse wished the kids would just get it over with and guess all the wrong letters in his name.

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

"Yes, I have a home where the buffaloroam. Are you in the market?"

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

"So... You must be Billy the Kid..."

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

"Yeah, you can drawl the drawl, but can you mosey the mosey?"

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

Everyone agreed big Jake was slow on the draw..But effective.

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'