Old Tv Show Fan Gifts

Ring! If that's Gloria, the IRS, a collection agency, a telemarketer or the Grim Reaper, I'm not here. Who ARE you here for? Ed Sullivan.

Sixth word.... Sounds like... Bell! ...Hell? ...Well? ...WELL!! ...OK, then... so far it's 'Timmy BLANK trapped BLANK BLANK well'...

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Herman Mankiewicz

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Before the Internet

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

'Hey...remember T.V.?

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"Whatcha watching, Dad?"

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

Clive Anderson

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"They don't call them reruns anymore...they call them deja-views."

"California has always been too big for its britches."

"The X files...the tooth is out there"

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

'Really? I was an extra in several John Wayne movies too...'

Charlie Chaplin

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

Kim Novak caricature