Old-school Tv Fan Gifts

'The announcer said 'don't touch that dial'... What's a dial?'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

TV Set

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Before the Internet

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Hey...remember T.V.?

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

John Laurie

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

'Sir Steve Austin is here to see you.'

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

This is a classic TV show called "Father Knows Best." Before Google obviously.

"Previously on..."

Lorne Greene

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

You probably perfected your ability to mete out justice by watching "Perry Mason" as a kid. Personally, I perfected my ability to lie by watching "Leave It To Beaver."

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

'This gene is necessary for experiencing pleasure when watching 'The Three Stooges'. It occurs only on the 'Y' chromosome.'

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

'Morcambe and Wise.'

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

"No, I'm not, no cellphones in high school old. I'm, I fell in love with Betty White in the Golden Girls old."