Old-school Tv Aficionado Gifts

"This is a test. This is only a test. Question #1..."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Joan Hickson

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

The Old Time Television Channel

"Your remote control, sire."

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

Robert Mitchum

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

John Laurie

Huawei Five-O

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

The Bronze Age of Television

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Wild and crazy salmon

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

You probably perfected your ability to mete out justice by watching "Perry Mason" as a kid. Personally, I perfected my ability to lie by watching "Leave It To Beaver."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'This gene is necessary for experiencing pleasure when watching 'The Three Stooges'. It occurs only on the 'Y' chromosome.'

"Television repairs....Don't you want to see my identity?"

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

New Course At The New School

Joan Collins

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'