Old-school Tv Fans Gifts

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Before the Internet

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'No Bonanza, no Gunsmoke, no Led Zeppelin... what a sad state of affairs this is! I'm glad I'm not in your generation...'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges.

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

'Morcambe and Wise.'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

"We ought to send PBS some money so it can afford better pledge-break specials."

'What do you mean you're not drunk? That's the calculator!'

'No doubt about it - he'd make a lovely Home Guard dog!'

Late Night TV

Elderly Tarzan...

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

'We've really got to get a remote.'

"Hey Coen, what are you watching?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy! Not again!"

"Well if Henry had behaved like that in the 40's! Really"

"Unbeknownst to many, there was also a fourth little pig..."

'Greetings earthling! - Oh no, not in the middle of 'Oprah'!'