Old Testament Humorist Gifts

'Why was Adam rejected?'

'No offense, but some of these sound a little PREACHY.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Divine Desk Bins

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"