Bible Humorous Scholar Gifts

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Fishing with God

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"