Bible Humorous Scholar Gifts

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Fishing with God

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"