Bible Scholar With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

Forgive them father, they know not what they do.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Fishing with God

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'