Old-school Newspaper Fan Gifts

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

Mick Jagger at 95.

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

Mole News: Obituaries

'Oh, for the good old peaceful test match.'

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

'But, Marshal, if I'da built the gallows any higher, ol' Mad Dog here mighta got seriously hurt!'

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

Tarzan hate C.G.I.

TV Set

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

'I hope he's all right. That Times is three weeks old.'

"You ran a classified ad to sell some of your unwanted items, didn't you?"

'The announcer said 'don't touch that dial'... What's a dial?'

"I kind of miss that morning newspaper you used to hold in front of your face."

"Poor guy is saddled with total recall. He remembers everything the New York Times has printed in the last 45 years."

General Store: We Now Carry Items!

'Since I stopped using the chalk board in favor of the overhead projector, there have been no eraser fights.'

'Beg.'

"I know my business - don't bother me with fads."

"Alexa! Play Lawrence Welk! Alexa! Play Lawrence Welk! Alexa..." "That's a can of chopped chicken, Grampa."

'I miss newspapers.'