Old-school Newspaper Fan Gifts

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Jimi Hendrix.

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

Mick Jagger at 95.

"Papers late again, Murphy?"

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

Mole News: Obituaries

'But, Marshal, if I'da built the gallows any higher, ol' Mad Dog here mighta got seriously hurt!'

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

'Oh, for the good old peaceful test match.'

Tarzan hate C.G.I.

TV Set

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

'I hope he's all right. That Times is three weeks old.'

Keith Richards

Noddy Holder

'The announcer said 'don't touch that dial'... What's a dial?'

Mick Jagger

"Poor guy is saddled with total recall. He remembers everything the New York Times has printed in the last 45 years."

"How about that? Is Cruz a collector?"

"I kind of miss that morning newspaper you used to hold in front of your face."

"You ran a classified ad to sell some of your unwanted items, didn't you?"

General Store: We Now Carry Items!

'Since I stopped using the chalk board in favor of the overhead projector, there have been no eraser fights.'

"I know my business - don't bother me with fads."

'Beg.'

This comic strip runs in family newspapers, and we're not allowed to show characters touching each other inappropriately. I just heard they extended that to include punctuation marks. So, I'm afraid you'll need to separate those filthy exclamation points. !!!

'I miss newspapers.'