Newspaper Fan Gifts

This comic strip runs in family newspapers, and we're not allowed to show characters touching each other inappropriately. I just heard they extended that to include punctuation marks. So, I'm afraid you'll need to separate those filthy exclamation points. !!!

'Beg.'

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

The Runaway Horse

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Your shoe's untied.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Support group for sheep.

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Dog walking Human.