Oink Operator Gifts

Ham-Dram

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Husband bakes a pie

"Why have you called him ballpoint?"

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

Thermidor Dali

"Sir, we've intercepted a transmission regarding a large shipment of eggs, but it's scrambled."

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

Ohm sweet Ohm

"Honey, you're sleepworking again."

Nethead strip: Sale.com

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

'It's 10 PM -- Do you know how your stocks are performing?'

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

Baking Bread

'It may be night here, but I'm day trading in Australia.'

"This space intentionally left blank."

'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'

'Some gobbledegook from the Titanic...LOL...then two hours later, OMG.'

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

"He sure could talk on the C.B. radio."

Warning - Server Down!

Wooden ship with a wooden anchor

"E...I...E...I...O."

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

Lorem Ipsum

We've done "here on oink," and we've done "there an oink," but we've never done "everywhere an oink-oink."

"We are currently experiencing high call volumes..."

"My new date must have a fabulous job, apparently he drives a roller."