Oink Operator Pillows

Ham-Dram

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Husband bakes a pie

"Why have you called him ballpoint?"

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

Thermidor Dali

"Sir, we've intercepted a transmission regarding a large shipment of eggs, but it's scrambled."

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

Ohm sweet Ohm

Nethead strip: Sale.com

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

"Honey, you're sleepworking again."

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

"This space intentionally left blank."

Baking Bread

'It's 10 PM -- Do you know how your stocks are performing?'

'It may be night here, but I'm day trading in Australia.'

'There's a problem with dinner - the roast didn't.'

'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'

'Some gobbledegook from the Titanic...LOL...then two hours later, OMG.'

"CQ, CQ, CQ!!"

Warning - Server Down!

Wooden ship with a wooden anchor

"He sure could talk on the C.B. radio."

"E...I...E...I...O."

"Do you, Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure Josh takes his cholesterol lowering medication each day?"

Lorem Ipsum

"My new date must have a fabulous job, apparently he drives a roller."

"Hold on. Let me just check my self-worth."