Oil Tasting Gifts

'When it comes to softening ear-wax, would you recommend centrifuged or uncentrifuged?'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

Cheese

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'Whatever he's eating.'

Car Breast-Feeding

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

Goopco Oil Co. What a party! They're having a contest to see who the crudest oil molecule is!

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Energy trap.

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

Fuels paradise.

'How's the curry?.'

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

'I can't believe it's not butter!'

Contemporary U.S. soldiers right an oil derrick.

'A bit pungent, perhaps, but very satisfying.'

Pummping oil on troubled waters.

'a fine mess you've got us into...'

Beer versus Wine

'What do you think? Does my lemonade need more sugar?'

'Your taste buds are starting to bloom.'

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

"I do feel a lot better since we switched to the trans-fat free oil."

'O.K. Everyone...Tea break!'

'We geochemists did very well before there were geophysicists.'

People wanted For Taste Test.