Office Toys Gifts

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

The Computer Bore

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

That shows business confidence.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

Joust Sharpener

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

'Dog eat dog.'

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Stationery Shop

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.