Office Gadgets Gifts

'When Consumer Reports rated it 'The speaker-phone most likely to annoy your co-workers,' I knew I HAD to have it!'

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

The Computer Bore

Like it? It's the new executive toy!

'Note to self: Buy little recorder.'

Executive Conkers.

'Whoops, I used the wrong clicker again!'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Not that net!'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Dog Walking Services

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Can our software do that?'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

That one has all the batteries!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Hiding the electronics.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'