Office Sage Gifts

'Sorry, darling, the firm's corporate lawyers say I can't discuss my day.'

Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!

'Always remember that the most competent person is the person who can hide his incompetence best.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'You'll bite the bullet, get kicked in the teeth, and be asked to grin and bear it...but dental is included.'

"Could you go over that once again,

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."

Between Offices

Career Choices

"Is it a double standard if it's only applied half the time?"

"That's life in the corporate world. Yesterday I was the company's 'go-to' guy, and today, I'm the 'you go too,' guy!"

"Lately, following the golden rule has been bringing me diminishing returns."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Music producers.

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

"This looks good, Jim, but we'd better run it by legal, Siri, and Alexa."

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

"I make money, therefore I am."

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'