Office Mate Gifts

Office Dunce.

'Ned taps his pencil, Jill hums and Bill whistles - form a band, guys, and take it on the road!'

"No, you can't borrow my pen."

Football tournament fever during office hours.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Apparently, he's been trapped in his cubicle since 1944. Do you want to tell him World War II is over, or shall I?"

Overworked in the office

'What's wrong now?'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

Parade of Businessmen

Meat Grinder

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

'He's an expendable.'

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

Bureau of the Damned

"It's tragic to seek how quickly the enthusiasm of youth drains away..."

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

Call Your Office

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"