Office Friend Gifts

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

"This is Abramson, our new piñata."

"He's not good with criticism."

"It has come to my attention, Collins, that you are hydrating on company time."

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'We'd just got to slide 104 when he gasped and keeled over. To be honest, I thought 'death by powerpoint' was just a figure of speech!'

"It's no good Charlie, I'm done for! You've got to go it alone, Charlie. You've got to go on and nail that presentation! Nail it for me!"

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'What's wrong now?'

Bring your problems to work day.

"When I make a joke, that light will turn on. That's your cue to laugh."

"Don't forget - safety meeting in five minutes."

"I'm going in."

"There's far too much hanky panky in this office. And I'm not having it!"

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

"Some words of advice...roll up your sleeves. People will think your busy and won't bother you."

"If you look here you can see that the job description CLEARLY involves a soul crushingly high workload and inhumane working conditions!"

Her co-worker was a banana

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

'Watch your mouth.'

STRIP Hambone: Looking at problems

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

'Well, occasionally it is good to see team members outside the office.'

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

Do you believe in money at first sight?

'Why is he not here yet?' - 'Overslept I bet.'

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

That shows business confidence.

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."