Office Mate Pillows

'Ned taps his pencil, Jill hums and Bill whistles - form a band, guys, and take it on the road!'

"No, you can't borrow my pen."

Football tournament fever during office hours.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Apparently, he's been trapped in his cubicle since 1944. Do you want to tell him World War II is over, or shall I?"

Overworked in the office

'What's wrong now?'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

Parade of Businessmen

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

Meat Grinder

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

'He's an expendable.'

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

Bureau of the Damned

Call Your Office

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"It's tragic to seek how quickly the enthusiasm of youth drains away..."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'