Workmate Pillows

'You got a big bonus, didn't you?'

"I keep it there as a warning to the next person who might consider borrowing my stapler without asking."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Polly txt speak

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Women Supporting Women!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

Do Not Resuscitate

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Golfing Boss

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"