Work Friend Pillows

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

"You've put together quite a diverse team: Francis is preoccupied, Jada's on the phone, Phil is distracted, and Jackson is asleep."

Man in lift thinking 'Please get stuck' as woman thinks 'Please don't get stuck.'

'When can you come back to work and start taking abuse again?'

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Let's continue to keep our relationship strictly business.'

'What happened to my desktop?! I can't find anything!!'

'The only side I take in an argument here is this side of the door.'

'Start with the computer. I'll let you know when you're ready to crash cars.'

"Let's review again. Mondays are pink memos. Tuesdays are red memos. Today I only read blue memos."

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

"Any requests? We're here for the entire lunch break."

"I needed to kick downwards, Pendleton . . . and then I thought of you."

"Nothing like a little nose to the grindstone, eh Robert?"

'Oh, the same as always... another day from Hell. How was yours?'

'I'm making progress. The boss yells at me on a first-name basis now.'

'On what planet.'

Superheroes Having a Drink

'Unless you need more time to rake her over the coals, the third member of your party is here to join you.'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

'Who's kidding?'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

"It's because her boss has forgotten her birthday."

'Hide me.'

Management consultants annual face to face interpersonal relationship development party.

'You might show a little gratitude, Parker. We've tolerated you five years without cutting your pay.'

"They're noise amplifying for office gossip."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'What's wrong now?'