Office Life Enthusiast Gifts

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."

"Sometimes it's easier if you break the work up into little chunks."

In retrospect, Howard should have taken the raise instead of asking for his own cubicle.

'Wow! That's what I call innovation! We've got the fanciest,newest, most expensive useless software on the market!'

'It's a shame, he had superb references...It was just unfortunate he failed so badly on his interpretation of these squiggly lines.'

"On the other hand I never have attended nor will I ever attend a sales meeting.''

"Now for the high point of the evening - a videotape of my elevation to regional director of marketing."

"Oh, hiring's all right, but I think my real calling is firing."

'I can't win - yesterday he told me off for not wearing a tie and today for wearing one!!'

'And this is where we all stopped to form an exploratory committee.'

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."

'J T Belton in Neutral.'

'Before you nodded off, your last statement was that we need to reinvigorate the company.'

'Stop leaving your message, dammit! This is not a recording, this is John J Kinkaid, himself.'

'Staff wage agreements? Look under poverty!'

'How's the efficency report coming along, Johnson?'

'Mr. Feldman, are you leaving for the day?'

'If he applies himself, there's no limit to what he won't be able to accomplish.'

Top Secret, Classified, and Who Cares.

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"And after six months, pending a good performance review, you'll be given a 1% raise and a nickname!"

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Oh, I saw it coming a mile away - just not quite that forcefully."

"I hate this time of year..."

Avoid, Liabilities, Assets.

"According to our records, we gave you a raise 15 years ago. And now you've requested another one? Greed is not a quality we like in our employees."

He was the kind of boss who evoked extreme emotions.

"While you were at lunch, Mr. Merriman took the company private and went home with it to New Jersey."

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

A businessman reads a "While you were away" memo that says "Nothing!".

"I can fit you in right now if you don't mind sitting on my three o'clock's lap."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"When this is all over the first thing I'm going to do is make my way to the office, where water flows from coolers, the gossip flies freely, and your ears are sweetly serenaded by the low-level hum of a fluorescent light."

Your daily office challenge.