Office Life Gifts

"It's always 'Sit,' 'Stay,' 'Heel'—never 'Think,' 'Innovate,' 'Be yourself.' "

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

"Now that the holidays are over we'd like you to get back to crunching numbers."

Collaboration

"We got a call about a consultant."

"I made partner!"

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

"I have a system."

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

"We were hoping that you could work from work today."

Brainstorm Ideas why meeting should be over

"No, not there, please. That's where I'm going to put my head."

'I was just ringing to see if you received the letter about the e-mails I sent you?'

'Thank you for holding - your call is important to us.'

'The assistant to the physician's assistant will see you now.'

"Miss Dugan, will you send someone in here who can distinguish right from wrong?"

"It's come to my attention, Wycliff, that you're actually planning a life outside the office."

"The resolution has been made and seconded that we stick our heads in the sand."

"Well, if doodling all day is busy, I was busy."

Insurance co. claims department.

'I think we have a communication problem.' - 'You can say that again, I fired you two weeks ago.'

"It's a poor heart that never rejoices!"

'Who's the designated leaker?'

'I appreciate the grovelling Whitworth, but don't lick my shoes - it ruins the leather!'

"I'm sorry. When I told everybody that we started in the mailroom together, I didn't realize you were still there."

The Office Black Hole

"And if you do any work, put it here."

"How small will he get?"

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Back to work...

'I should fire you! But quite frankly I can have much more fun if I keep you on and make your life a living hell.'

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

Man with the same birth date as Mick Jagger

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor