Office Humor Art Collector Gifts

"The ideal candidate for this job will exhibit a profound capacity for suffering."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Friday

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

"If you'd like to take a seat."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

Big Fish Packing Co - Our Flounder.

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Erdogan Replaces Trump on Putin Horse

Management Reshuffle

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'And it's here, where we feel the bulk of our liquid assets are going.'

"Good news. You know that elephant in the room we never talk about? He's now in the other room."

The End is Nigh

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"Time to do it in!"

'This committee will have two functions - to execute my plans and to accept responsibility if they fail.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'