Office Humor Art Collector Pillows

"The ideal candidate for this job will exhibit a profound capacity for suffering."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Friday

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"If you'd like to take a seat."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

Big Fish Packing Co - Our Flounder.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'And these are the projections if we stop doing silly things like paying the employees.'

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

Erdogan Replaces Trump on Putin Horse

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'And it's here, where we feel the bulk of our liquid assets are going.'

"Good news. You know that elephant in the room we never talk about? He's now in the other room."

The End is Nigh

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"Time to do it in!"

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

'This committee will have two functions - to execute my plans and to accept responsibility if they fail.'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Before I show you where you'll be working, let me just say that some companies use money as an incentive. I use Vito here.'