Office Comedy Collector Pillows

While You Were Out

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Murder? No, you've dialled L for Liposuction by mistake.'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Banana Split...

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"The Eggsorcist"

Filet minion

Turtle Hat

E-Baying @ The Moon

Snowmobull

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Friday

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"If you'd like to take a seat."

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

A trevor of trainspotters

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Whose the new guy?"